My Bitch like Rosa Parks

By Nasty Nate

My hoes don’t play.  It’s rough out here on these Talahasy streets.  You got to earn yo respect.  You got to shank a bitch, you got to shank a bitch, know what I’m sayin.  That’s why I got love for my bitch Libesha.  Her name mean beautiful flower in Kenyan and she can be real gentle and sweet when she get fed regular but she know to thro them bows too. 


My ho Libesha work on Monrow street, and sometimes them bisnessmen come up and they be wantin they dick sucked real quick but they be in a hurry and they don’t want to get no hotel or nothin, so Libesha just take they ass in the bafroom in IHOP across the street and do they bisness real quick.  She say she always make sure the bafroom clean after they done cause she a profeshunal.


One day me and Libesha walk inside IHOP to get us some pancakes.  It was her birfday and I always get my bitches pancakes on they birfday.  But this waitress behind the counter say naw, yall got to go.  She say Libesha caint be comin into IHOP no more cause she always be fuckin up the bafroom, and it smell like some leftover caserole fo bout three hours evry time she be in there.  And she say the last time Libesha was in there this old lady from a church group walked in to use the bafroom, and Libesha was in their suckin this dude dick, and this old white bitch had a stroke.  Like it was Libesha fault or somefin.  I told that dumass ho I went to doctor school fo bout a year befo I started pimpin, and aint no way Libesha gave that old white bitch a stroke just cause she was suckin some dick in the bafroom. 


But the waitress say don’t nobody want to eat at IHOP no mo cause IHOP a family restorant but now everybody know they got hoes in the bathroom suckin dick and don’t nobody want to be eatin wit they family round that shit.  She also say sometimes Libesha be makin these animal noises and customers be complanin.  Now, she do sometimes sound like a zebra gettin beat or some shit  when I be fuckin her, and that shit be really loud sometimes, but that aint no reason why my ho caint use the bathroom.  Thats discriminashun. 


I seen all them videos in my high school befo I dropped out during Black History Month of them black folks in Missippi sittin in them restaurants wit them white folks starin at them and lookin all angry, like we aint got a right to be there.  Aint Martin Luther King and Malcolm X done got shot and my grandaddy sprayed wit no hoses for no reason.  Aint no punk ass white bitch gonna tell Libesha she caint suck dick in the bafroom.  We got rights now.    


I was all calm and just gonna ax for the manager to talk bisnessman to bisnessman bout this white bitch saying my ho caint suck dick in their bathroom no more.  But Libesha got a attitude.  She aint want no part of no conversation.  She took off them big heels she always got on and told that white bitch say one mo time she caint suck dick in the bafroom at the IHOP.  Sho nuff, that white bitch said Libesha got to get out and caint come back no more.  Libesha jumped over the counter like a damn obese jungle cat and slammed that white bitch head into the oven rack.  That white bitch was screamin, beggin Libesha to stop beatin her ass, but it was too late.  Libesha like a momma bear when she get mad, she rufless.


The police came, and they had to peppa spray my bitch four times befo she let go of that white bitch hair.  They talkin bout she goin to jail for assault or some shit.  I tried to tell them Libesha just standin up against discriminashun cause that white bitch sayin she caint use the bafroom. But they wasn’t listenin, cause all they know is when a white bitch get beat like that somebody goin to jail.  We was sittin up there for a minute too cause they had to call fo backup to get some mo handcuffs.  They only had two sets and they needed like four.  I told them let my bitch go, that Libesha a peaceful ho and she aint dangerus if you just treat her wit some respect and feed her some Doritos.  They got to be the cool ranch tho, she get real angry if they the nacho cheese flavor.  She hate them nacho cheese ones.  But those police was lookin all scared and said they caint let my bitch go.


Then the ambulans came and picked up the cryin white bitch.  Actin like she a victim or something.  Libesha wouldnt have done nothin if she just let her do her bisness in the IHOP bafroom like she always do.  My people got rights now, we don’t got to be secind class citizens no more.       


After the backup came wit the extra handcuffs, they brought the van they be usin to take bigger folks to jail cause Libesha wasnt gonna fit in they regular car.  I done taught my hoes bout civil disobediens and how they don’t got to cooperate if they bein discriminated against.  So Libesha aint get up wen they said her ride was there to take her ass to the county.  They had to drag her cross the pavement cause she was too big for them to pick up.  I took a video on my phone for the NAACP cause you got to document police brutality.  The van had one of them handycap lifts on the side, so they just rolled her ass on that thing wit her rolls hangin over the side and pressed that button to lift her ass up.  I said dont worry bout nothin girl, we gonna get you out the county jail.  I was so proud of Libesha, fightin for her rights and shit.  That bitch like Rosa Parks.      

Labor Union Bitch

By Lotto J

  
I don’t play bout my business.  My hoes got to work fo they cash.  I don’t put those hoes out on the street fo fun.  I got six child suport payments to make.  Last week this ho was trippin talkin bout how she gonna have my baby, so Im bout to have seven.  I said that aint my baby.  You best get in line bitch and take me to court.  Pimpin aint always so glamous as it seem like. 

            

 So when my bitch LaFanda ask me one day bout startin a labor union I slapped that ho.  I ain’t know exactly what a labor union is, but it sound like it gonna cost me some money.  LaFanda say she saw Norma Ray on the tv or some shit and she want to start a labor union.  This white ho Norma Ray was workin in a factory and she wanted mo rights fo all them hoes in the factory so she organized a group to fight for they rights.  I already done told that ho one time after she watched Pretty Woman to stop watchin them white bitches on tv cause don’t no white bitch know how we livin out here.  Ain’t no rich white boy gonna come marry Lafanda.  That bitch pussy too stank.  Like a ruben sandich. 

           

After I beat that ho the first time I thought she learned her leson bout tryina tell me how to run my bidness.  Lafanda said alright she wasn’t gonna start no labor union.  I said you better not ho cause I don’t wanna have to beat yo ass again for costin me money.  She said she was sorry and she just gonna do her job suckin dick and don’t gonna listen to them white hoes on tv no more.

             

Shit was goin good fo bout a week til one day I went down to the track in my ’85 Caprice to bring them hoes some Sunny D.  I get hot out there on that pavement.  They get tired and thirsty and then they pass out and shit.  Ain’t no unconshus ho gonna make no money. Then I got to drive they ass to the hospital all the time and its just a hassle so I just bring them hoes some Sunny D.  They like Sunny D and it keep em hidrated wit electrolites and potaseum and shit.

             

I step out my Caprice on 24s.  It clean.  I got them Sunny D bottles to give to my hoes in my hands and I ain’t believed what I saw.  Lafanda standing there wit a big ass megaphone yellin bout rights and shit, sayin they don’t want work on no holidays and shit no more and they got to have time to sleep.  What the fuck?  Crismas I be makin the most money the whole year.  And they be sayin they don’t want to be wearin them little ass skirts and shirts in the rain.  I said what the fuck bitch, how anybody gonna want to fuck you if you wearin a big ass rain jacket or some shit,  Don’t nobody want to see that.  Then they say they don’t want to be gettin fucked in they ass all the time no mo cause after work they caint poop right never and it hurt.  Them stupid ass hoes knows thats what my bidness all about.  Thats what people be comin to my block for, cause they know anybody can fuck my hoes in they butthole whenever they want.  That’s my whole bidness model.  Ain’t nobody gonna go to Waffle House if they don’t got no waffles.  Ain’t nobody gonna go to KFC if they aint got no chicken.  Nobody gonna come to my block if they caint put they dicks in my hoes butts.      

             

Lafanda say they aint gonna work no more til they get some rights.  She say that shit in the Constitution.  I said you a lyin ass ho Lafanda erybody know you caint read, so how you gonna be talkin bout the Constitution and shit.  She say she saw it on Jeperdy.  I said what the fuck you was doin watchin Jeperdy bitch?  She say one her white boy clients like to watch Jeperdy while she suck his dick and she be lisenin to the questshuns. 

            

 I beat that ho out there on the sidewalk fo bein disrespectful in front of all my other hoes so they could see ain’t no way no labor union gonna start in my pimp circle.  What them other pimps gonna think if they see my hoes getting good pay and shit?  Sometimes you got to beat they ass to keep em in liine.  Like them cattle.  One cow see another getting all uppity and fancy and shit, and they all want try to perpetrate like that other cow.  Then they wont stand still while you milk em.  

             

Lafanda come up to my house a couple days later wit a black eye and cryin and shit.  I was bout to shoot that ho cause they know they don’t supposed to be comin up to my residence wit no permission.  But she was cryin and shit, talkin bout please listen to her.  I said bitch you know you don’t supposed to be comin up to my house like that.  She say she was sorry.

             

Then she tell me all this shit bout how if they get good work condishuns they can be suckin dick better and fuckin better too.  And if they don’t got to stand out on the track in the freezin rain they don’t be gettin frostbite on the titties and shit.  And if I don’t beat they ass so much they wont be so scared lookin all the time.  I said bitch, sometimes you got to beat they ass cause that just my job.  She say sometimes yeah, but not always.  Sometimes you can just talk to them and shit.  And she say if my hoes is happy they gonna do a better job and shit. 

            

 I ain’t never thought bout it like that befo.  And I knew Lafanda was a good ho, loyal and shit.  And if it help me make mo money cause my hoes is better workers, I aint gonna argue bout that.  Lafanda aint know how to write no labor union contract, but she sucked on some dick fo them papers to be all wrote out.  I signed that shit wit my fether pen.  All because of Lafanda wantin to make the word a better place fo hoes to do they job in.  She a good bitch.    

Community Service Bitch

By Krome Rimzzz

I don’t give a fuck bout these hoes doin community service round here, unless they be havin a court order or some shit from the law that say they got to do it.  If I ain’t getting paid fo sendin my ho out to work, what the fuck we talkin bout.  Pimpin ain’t bout makin no community betta, it’s bout getting paid.  That was what I thought til I picked up this white bitch Lorraina to join my street team.  She was goin to Lakeview High School, and I pick her ass up after school and shit.  Them young white bitches sell good on the streets.  Anyway, I pick her ass up one day and she say she got to go to the old folks home fo community service.  What? This bitch trippin.  I axed her what kind of customer she got at the old folk home.  She say it ain’t no customers there, that she got to go fo community service.

First, I was like hell naw, white bitch.  You think you runnin shit round here now?  I gotta take yo ass down to the track.  But she was like please, Krome, I gotta do some community service fo my Girl Scout merit badge.  I knew how much that Girl Scout shit meant to that ho, so I say alright, you can go down there fo an hour. 

She go down there and tell the clerk that one them old ass white boys her grandpa and she got to visit him.  But she ain’t got no grandpa there.  She just go to suck on they old dicks and shit.  She even bring her little sexy ass nurse outfit that I make her wear on the track on Halloween and Labor Day. 

She go real slow cause you know they got weak ass bones and shit.  And them floppy dicks be takin a long time to get hard, but Lorraina always be a patient bitch, strokin that shit and tellin them old ass dudes that she like they wrinkly balls even though they was gross.  Most hoes be like nigga, you best grow yo dick fo’ I leave cause I ain’t got time to waitin round.  But Lorraina took her time wit they old asses, playin wit they junk til it get hard.  She don’t even mind they wrinkly skin and warts and shit all over they dicks. 

             

But that bitch do say that old sperm tastes like some salted pickles and she got to hold her bref when they cummin so she don’t smell that shit.  One time she fogot that she cain’t breathe wit they nut in her mouf and she threw up in one of they old men laps right befo his niece came to visit him.  It ain’t Lorraina’s fault that man’s jizz taste like old ass pork chops. 


The nurse said what the fuck Lorraina was doin cause his heart ain’t good enough to be getting his dick sucked anyway.  She say they was getting threats from that man’s family to sue them over neglance or some shit.  I told that bitch I don’t know what that mean but ain’t no uppity white bitch ruinin my credit over no neglance.  I said I come over there and show that family some neglance wit my Glock if they keep harrassin my ho.  She a good bitch just tryin to earn her merit badge fo the Girl Scouts. She ain’t mean no harm.

A Dedicated Ho

By Peppa Spray

Whatup.  My name Peppa Spray, and I be posted up on the Westside most days, Memphis.  I run a bidness, and I got lots o’ half-ass hoes and shit that I got to beat on the reg just to keep they ass in line and doin they job right.  That shit get tiresome.  But Yoshanda, I ain’t never got to beat that ho.  She do her job no matta what.  A lot of them hoes be makin excuses why they cain’t be workin, like they got to go to a funeral or take they kids to school or some bullshit.  But Yoshanda, she come to work everyday.  She a big girl and she ain’t got the best face and her titties is a little saggy, but she make up fo that shit wit dedication.  She a dedicated ho. 

One time back in the day she be in the shed behind my momma house wit this white boy  where I sometimes be puttin them hoes to do they work when I heard a bang.  I run in there and she be sprawled out on the flo.  I asked that white boy what he did to my ho.  They was doin some Kama Sutra or some shit and she fell off the lawnmower.  Her legs was all messed up. 

Now, I don’t be givin my hoes no health insurance cause that ain’t my job.  But I guess I gotta do something with her, so that white boy and me loaded Yoshanda up in my backseat and drove that ho to the hospital.  Them doctors said she had a ton ACL or some shit and maybe that ho don’t supposed to be fuckin fo a while wit them casts on.  But Yoshanda, she love her job.  She say ain’t no way she ain’t gon fuck fo like 2 months.  I said bitch, don’t nobody want to fuck you wit them messed up legs and shit.  But I was wrong.  Them boys don’t care bout her fucked up legs cause she so good at suckin that dick it don’t matter what that ho look like.

Shit was goin good fo bout a week, til one day she was up on this man’s roof, and they was fuckin and shit cause he ain’t had no AC in his house and it was hot.  But they was too heavy and that shit caved in.  I drove to the hospital and that bitch all layed out on the bed wit her arms up on the air on some strings talkin bout how she gonna be alright.  I went out the lobby and that motherfucker that broke my ho was sittin there lookin all worreed.  I said damn what the fuck you was doin takin my ho wit her legs all messed up on the roof?  Them white boys always be actin like they ain’t got no common sense.  He said he was sorry.  I said fuck you white boy, sorry don’t fix my ho’s fucked up arms.  The nurse wheeled her bloody outside with both that ho’s arms in big ass casts.  I said bitch, what the fuck was you thinkin?  How many times I got to talk to you bout fuckin on roofs?   

             

She say she was sorry.  And I  said bitch, I don’t care how sorry you is.  You keep doin this shit, breakin yo arms and shit, how you gon suck dick and get me my money?   You got to take some time off, get yo head straight, think about what you done and come back wit when yo legs and arms ain’t messed up no mo. 

But Yoshanda don’t take no vacation.  She said she ain’t need no arms to suck dick.  They just dangle there and she open her mouf.  Some hoes just be doin this job fo’ the money.  Yoshanda do this shit cause she love it.  It ain’t just a job, she passionate bout hoin.